Results

I know many of you have been waiting quite anxiously to find out what happened to John, so I can finally relieve that and tell you that after  two and a half months of waiting and wondering, the death certificates have finally arrived and with them John's cause of death.  The death certificate reads that John's cause of death was  cardiac arrhythmia of unknown etiology.   This does not mean a heart attack like I originally thought it did, but it is still pretty surprising.

I have told a few people what I just shared with you and all of them have asked the question, "How are you doing?"  I answer this as truthfully as I can.  Knowing what happened to John does not change anything for me.  I do not feel better, I do not feel worse.  I expected the results to come back inconclusive and while this almost is, we at least know it was something with his heart.  Oddly enough I have no more peace of mind about it than I did before and  I didn't think I would.  John is in Heaven. For whatever reason, he was called to go now.   He is happy and having the time of his life.  I am so thankful and happy for him that he no longer has to deal with all the negative stuff that goes on in this world.  I truly am happy for him.  I can give the credit for this only to God who has given me such a peace and comfort throughout this whole ordeal.